Secrets For A Happier Life July 5, 2012

 

mikeselzerdds@aol.com
Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices
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Circle back for happiness

 

 

Michael

Michael D Selzer DDS

 

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5-31-2012
Attention Let it be and flow
July 5, 2012
 

Dear Michael,  

 

Fun is the enjoyment of pleasure and, according to Johan Huizinga, “an absolutely primary category of life, familiar to everybody at a glance right down to the animal level.”  Fun may be encountered in many human activities during work, social functions, recreation and play, and even seemingly mundane activities of daily living.

 

Fun may often have little to no logical basis, and opinions on whether or not an activity is fun may differ. The distinction between enjoyment and fun isfun ikea difficult to articulate but real, fun being a more spontaneous, playful, or active event. The perception of time is shortened when one is “having fun.”

I invite you to continue reading below in this exploration of fun; a component of happiness. 

 

Michael Selzer DDS

Quick Changes
If the fun has dissolved what actually changed.  You were in the moment and enjoying being in the car and now you are still in the car but no longer in the moment.  You may have resistance to being in the traffic that is preventing you from continuing smoothly on you way.  The resistance creates stress and continued stress changes the enjoyment of a vacation drive into work.

 

You can picture this scenario occurring over and over again, at work, at home on vacation and yes even at playing golf.  We tend to enjoy ourselves when we are getting what we want and then tend to resist what is happening when we are getting what we do not want.

 

Picture this as a circle with fun on the top andFun work diagram “work” on the bottom.  As you resist what is happening you slip down the left side and then wait for conditions to change so you can start to move back up the right side of the fun work diagram.  However, the natural happiness that exists inside has not disappeared it has just been temporarily covered up.

 

Small Moments Of Happiness
There is another way that may speed up the return to fun (even while still in the midst of the traffic or whatever the event or condition that is causing the resistance).

 

It is in three parts

 

  1. Attention  — willfully place your attention on what you are seeing, hearing, feeling
  2. Let it be    —  allow the sensations and feelings that you are experiencing to be
  3. In the zone — flow into being in the moment just as you were before the resistance

 

The sooner you do the first step the easier the fun flow waterfall process is because you have not built up too much resistance or stress.  So start as soon as you can.
You know you would rather be having fun than feeling the stress of resistance.  So start the process. Just drop your doubt that it will work.
Willfully place your attention on precisely what is happening.  If it is in traffic notice the chain of cars lined up, note the color of each car, see the states of the license plates, note the color of the pavement, the color of the sky and clouds see as much detail as you can.  If you are at a lecture or listening to someone speaking directly to you notice the details. Notice their lips moving, their eyebrows twitching, their hair color and style.  Continue with their arm and body movement, tone of voice, shoes, nails and etc.
Let this attention to detail gradually (within 90 seconds) start to dissolve the resistance and then move to letting it be just the way it is.  Allow the feelings and sensations that are there for you and just sit and watch them start to dissolve. As your focus of attention stops being on the irritation or boredom that had pulled you away from fun and has moved through the willful stage into letting it be, your attention gradually shifts and returns to being present and the natural flow of happiness returns along with the fun that you had started with.
You have moved back up the right side of the diagram and have arrived at the top of the circle in the zone.

 

Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment
By placing your attention on what is happening you have stopped placing your attention on the irritation and resistance.  Already you are better off.  The resistance has been reduced so you are not building up as much stress as if you had waited to start. 

 

It is the same with allowing the sensations to be there as they are.  When your attention is placed on the sensation you have stopped placing your attention on being resistant.  Again you are moving back up the circle of fun and work towards the top.  As you continue you are incrementally placing all of your attention on the actual experience you are having and not your mind’s interpretation of it. Ironically, by dropping the interpretaion you have returned to the natural happiness that is there and the fun can continue with a song maybe this time about the very traffic you are in the middle of. 

 

Austen trunk tripWith some practice you can be just like the puppy who is enjoying the happiness of the journey rather than postponing that happiness until arriving at a destination.

Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
Attention in golf is the same.  It is finding your way back to being in the moment of the swing free from all other thoughts. It is a step by step return to the moment by going through a routine. 
The more steps in the routine the easier it is for you to return you to the moment of the swing.
Attention to the steps of the routine is the same as attention to the facial and body movement of the lecturer above.  As you go deeper in to the routine all other resistance and stress start to drop away and you are left with a smooth thought and worry free fresh air swing.

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