Secrets For A Happier LIfe November 17, 2011

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices
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A story of happiness

 

Michael

Michael D Selzer DDS

 

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Silent Smiles
 

Find the silver lining

November 17, 2011

 

Dear Michael,   

   

Welcome back to Secrets For A Happier Life.
 
With Thanksgiving almost upon us as well as the beginning of the cold winter (although not so cold in Florida) I thought a story about family and childhood memories might bring a warm happy smile to your face. 
 
Feel free to bring back and enjoy your own recollections as you prepare for this wonderful holiday.
 
I invite you to read on …
Michael Selzer DDS

Quick Changes

                               A Moment of Happiness

 

Ice skating on P Pond was especially a fun activity. We had a pile of old ice skates in a box in the basement. Every winter when it got really cold for a few days we started to think about ice skating at P Pond. P Pond was a small pond that bordered on the side of a hill next to the Grand Central Parkway near Springfield Blvd.  I have no recollection of how it got its name.  Some years later it turned out that a high school fraternity brother Jay,  lived right across the street from the pond.

 

I had fond memories of that pond from the skating and used to take an old girl friend there when I first started to drive. We sat on a tree stump and would make out. Make out what an odd term that was for hugging and kissing. Make out maybe to be out of your sense of the singularity of being me; just within my body/mind and beginning to join with another. This was in the mid sixties. The age of Aquarius. I wonder when this term came into use?

 

As I was saying the ice skating started with a boxIce Lake of skates in the basement. We, my mom sister and me I don’t think my dad skated, would all try on the skates and figure out for this year the new sizes of my sisters feet and mine and who would be able to wear which skates. We never bought skates that I can remember they probably came from our Uncles George’s second hand store. He would buy up bunches of stuff from old homes or warehouse storage and sometimes he didn’t even know what was in the boxes or crates he bought. After it was sorted out he would sell what he could. I imagine the skates came to us from one of those un-know containers. Well thank you to who ever used them first.

 

With the skates sorted and equipped with many extra pairs of socks to fill in the space when the size was too big or band-aids for the blisters when they were too small we were off to the pond. If it had snowed as a part of the cold days we would shovel off as much snow as we could and then skate on that part of the lake. It was always a bit scary to go out over the ice.

 

Of course it was my mom who would check the ice somehow to deterIce lake shoremine if it was thick enough to skate on. She would bang on the ice with the edge of the blade of the skate and look at where the ice met the shore line and tell us that the ice had to be at least 4 inches thick to be safe.

 

Me I just looked out over the ice and if there were a bunch of big kids already out in the middle and they didn’t fall in it was okay for me. I didn’t weigh much at the time and felt really safe because I thought if anything happened the bigger kids would fall in first. Hey! one for me I finally figured out a benefit of being small.

 

Oh I forgot that’s the very thing that made the skating so much fun. That you might fall in at any time. Even when the ice was thick and you forgot about it you never really forgot about it. Falling in was always in the back of my mind . It probably created a zone of mindfulness that kept me focused more on the now of what I was doing rather than thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow… No probably not.   When your a kid skating is just too much fun to think about anything else.

 Small Moments Of Happiness

Now that you are smiling think back to some of your own stories.  Who are they with?  What are they about?  How can you share them this holiday season?  What might be the silver lining of the story like finding a benefit to being small?

 

You might start by out by finishing this sentence, “When I was about ten or eleven I remember one time that…”

 

You might light a candle and play some baroque music while you write.  Write non stop for two to five minutes.  Don’t lift your pen from the paper.  Just keep writing.  You can then toss it out, save it or read it to someone.  If you read it let that person know that you are not looking for comments but just someone to hear the story.  Ask them to just say thank you when you are finished reading and then go on with some other activity. 

 

If the story comes up in conversation later on dive right into discussing it like jumping into a pool of cool water on a hot summer’s day.

 

Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment  

“It might not be turkey but I’m planning to gobble, gobble, gobble it down as fast as I can”Austen at table

 

Austen says,

 “don’t be picky. Find the silver lining and  enjoy what is right in front of you right now.”

Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
Where is your center of gravity when you swing?  If you ice skate or ski you know that to balance you need to keep your center of gravity at least a few inches below your navel. When you turn for the back swing and then uncoil you need a low center of gravity to maintain power and balance.
 
Our state of mind affects our centr of gravity.  Wherever you mind is focused your center of gravity will shift in that direction. 
 
When you are uptight and have a lot of chatter in your mind your center of gravity will shift upward and make it harder to maintain your balance and you may end up lunging at the ball.
 
When you feel grounded and down to earth or centered in your body you are much less likely to sway and lunge.  You will develop a balanced more powerful swing.
  
                                 
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