Secrets For A Happier Life September 22, 2011

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices

  Buzz Thought


Happiness says me



Michael D Selzer DDS


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The Brightened Mind
Ajahn Sumano Bhikku
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Lee Ravine 




I experience happiness when I see children at play, feel the sun’s warmth, smell field flowers, taste my favorite food, open my birthday card, admire a beautiful smile.
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 All experience is an arch, to build upon.”



Henry B. Adams  






Happiness comes in drops
Thought matches body sensations

Trigger zone for happiness

You can have happiness now

Happiness & Sunshine 24×7
Start where you are
Generosity builds happiness

Happiness a balance of opposites


Happiness a wave of energy
Happiness a wave of energy
Happiness step by step
Wide eyes for happiness
Smiling eyes for happiness
Edges of happiness
Polishing for happiness 
Gaps of happiness
Decisions for happiness
Pivoting for happiness
 Stretch for happiness
Pausing for happiness 
Oasis for happiness
Sit Stay Heal September 22, 2011

Dear Michael,   


Welcome back to Secrets For A Happier Life.
I had started to compose this issue and realized it seemed very familiar.  I checked back and found this prior issue. With its being about the happiness of eating I thought you might enjoy a review.
Hot dog, mustard, sauerkraut, bun:   hot dog, mustard sauerkraut, bun —thinking these words may make your mouth water. The next time you have a hot dog think these words as you are biting into and eating the hot dog, mustard, sauerkraut and bun.*   

Does thinking the words as you are eating enhance the experience and make it even more enjoyable than just eating a hot dog? The more open we are to what is happening in each moment and the more connected to what our senses and mind are actually doing the more we feel the enjoyment or happiness of that moment. 

I invite you to continue reading below.  


Yours truly,  


Michael Selzer DDS 

*or any one of your favorite foods


Quick Changes

In one way or another everything is in continuous motion.  Nothing stands still.  The earth and everything on it is continuously moving around the sun.  The electrons that make up the screen you are viewing are continuously swirling around. Nothing stands still not even thoughts.  Our minds are like a house with a front and back door that thoughts come in and go out of;  continuously one after the other.  When you drive your car you are passing trees, buildings, other cars all of which become a thought for a moment.  The image of a tree comes in one door and goes out the other so that the mind is open to the next thought.  This goes on until something grabs your attention and you stop seeing and start thinking. 


One thought leads to another and you get lost in the detour of the thought that grabbed your attention.  You may not even be aware that this has happened until all of a sudden you realize that you are thinking about your aunt Tillie and all the times she did ???? whatever .  You have no idea why the thought of aunt Tillie came up.  What happened is that the back door closed.  A routine thought came in the front door but it got lost in the detour of your mind.  It stimulated some prior memory and bang, the back door slammed shut and the thought keeps circulating around and around your head. 


While you are lost in the detour, your enjoymentClouds  of the moment and the drive to work or home is gone.  You have lost the ability to be connected to the moment; the enjoyment of the mind thinking hot dog as you eat it is reduced to just routine chewing and swallowing.  Until the back door of the mind opens and lets thought flow like a floating cloud, through your open mind with no resistance, your enjoyment and happiness are diminished. 

 Small Moments Of Happiness

How tightly is that back door shut?  What would it take to open it?  It could be an automatic door like the one at the supermarket.  You walk up and stand in front and it opens by itself.  It could be a revolving door that you push around or a door you have to pull open and then walk through.  Or, one with a lock and key or a combination that you punch in or speak to.  Maybe a time lock and it only stays open for one hour a day.  Stronger locks need more work to be opened.


What is actually closed is your mind itself.  Your mind created the closed back door. It did this by becoming stuck on one thought, rather than remaining open to letting the thoughts that come up flow in and out by themselves. 


A solution to try:

So one method of opening the back door is to just change your mind.  “Open says me,” works pretty well. Or you can imagine that stuck thought to be one car of a freight train and watch the train go by and then watch that car on the train as it goes off in the distance getting smaller and smaller until it just disappears.


You can relate the strength of lock on the door to your mood or emotions. What is the concern of yourTrain track mind right now?  Is this the type of door that takes a little work or a lot for you to open?   What is the problem that this thought represents to you? 


Go inside your mind/body and name that problem and then  use one or more of the techniques of the previous newsletters (see archive) to shift to a happier thought.  Gradually the door stays open or becomes easier to open when it routinely closes.


It’s mainly about resistance.  Something comes up or a thought about that “something” and there is resistance to accepting what is actually happening.  Resistance closes the back door.  Opening, softening, allowing what is to be as it is, is the way to open the back door.  Continuing to soften and become more in harmony with what is, is the beginning of returning to the feeling of happiness that lies at the center of being open.

Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment  

The best way to stay open is to not close.


The more you close the harder it is to get back open.Austen sitting 2


When you first become aware that you are starting to close, just STOP.  In her book Taking The Leap Pema Chodron calls it, “Sit, Stay & Heal.” 

As hard as it seems at that moment if you wait and allow the closing to continue it will be harder to reverse.  

You can decide to choose happiness rather than the insistence to being right.


With practice opening can be as easy as thinking ,



“Happiness says me.” 


Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
On the practice green line up your Golf 7th Tee
putt as normal with your eyes open, then close your eyes just before you make your stroke.    

Focus on the feel of the putter head during the stroke and try to guess where the ball will end up when it stops rolling.


Try this at 10, 20 and 30 feet.                                        

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