Secrets For A Happier Life May 26, 2011

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices
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Pivoting for happiness

 

MichaelMichael D Selzer DDS

 

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FL residents only
Attention to what you want May 26, 2011
 Dear Michael,   

   

A few days ago I had the honor and pleasure of offering a toast for the marriage of my first child. The entire experience was exuberant but more of that later in the newsletter. Although research of this type of toast is not my strong suit I did some and found that the toast should have a good beginning a good ending and keep the two very close together. (which I did at least the close together).

The research also uncovered two famous quotes about marriage toasts. The first by Henny Youngman, “I take my wife everywhere…. She always finds here way back.” And then by Mickey Rooney, “Always get married in the morning, that way if it doesn’t work out you have not wasted a whole day.” 

Wouldn’t the exuberance of the wedding be a nice energy a nice emotion to pivot into at will? I invite you to read on about the concept of pivoting from one emotion to another or from any emotion into happiness.

Michael D. Selzer DDS

 

Quick Changes

I recently took a workshop at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health given by Shakta Kaur Khalsa and Kartar Khalsa (see link in left column).  This energetic program combining kundalini yoga and the law of attraction gave me a tremendous boost of energy and additional insights into more secrets for a happier life.  The following is my modified version of a process from the workshop called pivoting.

 

An image to describe this technique is that of two tall towers in the shape of pyramids that have  only a few connecting tunnels between them. Each level or floor of the pyramid is supported by a slightly larger foundational level beneath it.   If you are on an upper floor of one towerTowers you have to descend to a lower more foundational level in order to cross over to the other tower. You can see the upper floors of the other tower but you cannot jump across the divide  So if the towers have 35 floors and the cross over tunnels are at 5 and 18 and you are at floor 27 you would need to descend to the  more foundational level at 18 or possible 5 to cross over and then you could go up to the 27th floor of the other tower.

Small Moments Of Happiness
 Now it gets interesting.  Let one tower be your emotional state of happiness (like the wedding was for me) and the other an emotional state of concern, anxiety or worry about the future  (like it may rain and its an outdoor wedding and etc.).

 

The plan is to start on the 27th floor of the concern (whatever it is for you) and want to get to the 27th floor of the happiness.  As in the image above pivoting works by descending to a more foundational level then crossing over and then going up the elevator of happiness.

 

So lets begin with whatever is on your mind RIGHT NOW.  It may be I do not have time to read this, I will do it later or it’s raining outside and I forgot my umbrella or my lower back is still sore.  Start with where you are right now.  The foundational level is just beneath the surface.  What does ” I do not have time to read this feel like?”  Are you leaning forward? Are you eyes slightly squinted?  How is your breath? Short? Fast? 

 

This foundation of sensation is continually there but we miss it most of the time.  Instead we usually focus on what we do not want. “I don’t want to read this now I have too much to do.”  ” I don’t want to get wet in the rain”.  Start to search for the foundation of your thoughts and emotional state.  And pin point what it is that you do not want.  “I don’t want to spend time on this now”.  “I am too busy.”   “I don’t want to rush when I read this.” ” I don’t want to miss my appointment by reading this.”   ” I don’t have time.”  ” I feel rushed. ” “I do not want to have this rushed feeling.”    “I feel tight and my face feels hot.”  Etc.

 

Then the pivot.  What do you want?   When you descend down to the foundational level of 18 from 27 there is a crossover tunnel.  You can pivot to what you do want but you have to uncover a good amount of foundation before it really works. The deeper you go the better the result.  Too often we focus much more on what we do not want rather than what we do want.

 

So you have gotten down to a more foundational level.  Ask the question what do you want?  And then again what do you really want?  Going back to my feeling of being rushed and hot what I really want is the relaxed Sunday morning feeling. The still open, slow, deeper breathing, airy, sit back and be comfortable feeling. It feels soft and warm like wearing an old tee shirt.

 

Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment  
Once you have uncovered what it is that you do want at a deep foundational level you can go through the tunnel to the other tower and then start to ascend with a clearer image and feeling of your goal.  Focusing attention on what you do want (even when you do not yet have it) will bring it to you much faster than using up your energy trying to push away what you do not want.  The key is to become aware of what you do not want, reach down to a foundational level and let it go and then place attention on exactly what you do want. 

The wedding was wonderful.  The bride was radiantly beautiful and the groom equally handsome (I am a very proud father).  It was an outdoor wedding and the weather was outstanding.  In addition to everything we planned going exceptionally well I am sure I would have been ecstatic even if it had rained.  The wedding boosted my emotional state to a zone of supreme happiness.  It has become a high floor at the top of the happiness tower that I can visit or aim for when I cross over into that tower.

 

With practice you will be able to rapidly notice the foundation of any emotional state, find what you really want and then pivot to that emotional state and focus attention in that direction.

            Austen flying

 

As for the puppy?  He seems to live in the tower of natural perpetual playful happiness.  How would that be for you? 

Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
 A few thoughts to ponder
          Will this work as well for your golf game?  Is your golf game better or worse deending on your emotional state?  Do your emotions shift up and back during a round of golf?  If you can determine a particular emotional state that works best for you would pivoting into that state be worth the practice.  Could you use golf as a window for practicing more balance in your life? 
 
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