Secrets For A Happier Life March 10, 2011

Attraction and repulsion seem to be opposites. We want to attract more of what we like and move away from what we do not like. But both are really wanting; as we want something to continue or we want something to stop.

I invite you to continue reading below to uncover another pathway to happiness.

Michael Selzer DDS

Quick Changes

Let’s begin with the harder of the two. When we want something to stop we tend to resist it or push it away. Rather than pushing things away what would happen if you opening up to what is actually already there?

Somehow opening up to what is already there does two Paying attention opposite things. When you open up to something that you do not particularly want it tends to dissolve. And when you open up to something that you do particularly want it tends to increase.

So it is like rubbing a dirty spot; it tends to rub out the dirt and the spot tends to dissolve. And rubbing a shinning spot makes it shine more. So although the action of attention or the action of rubbing seems to have two opposite effects its really happening by the same process.

You can think of it as a light in a room with a dimmer switch which is turned down and down and down. As you do this the light in the room gets less and less and if there are people in the room they cannot see as well. Less and less light will lead to chaos in the darkened room.

So the increase in light or paying attention to what may be covering up the light allows more light, more freedom and energy.

By the same process dirty things get clean and clean things get shiny.

Small Moments Of Happiness

The difficulty comes up in placing attention on something that is uncomfortable. It may be a physical discomfort, an emotional discomfort, a thought of someone that does something you find annoying or a repetitive problem. The tendency is to try and stay away from them and not to focus attention on them. The difficulty comes in sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that arise. But sitting with them and allowing a space to open around them, focusing attention on them, polishes those spots and gradually they decrease and disappear.

It’s like a dog with an electronic collar. If the dog wants to run and be free when it gets to a certain spot it starts to feel discomfort from the collar. This will not necessarily hurt the dog but it is certainly uncomfortable. But if the dog really wants to get beyond that spot the dog can gradually get up to it feel the discomfort, feel it a little more and a little more until progressively, when it can withstand the discomfort the dog will become free and beyond the range of the device.

So by allowing the discomfort to be there you can go through it.

As this continues on the other side where you are now in the zone of what you want; by placing more attention on that your polishing with attention makes it sparkle and shine.

Happiness: A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment