Secrets For A Happier Life 2-17-11

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices
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Happiness is continually available.


MichaelMichael D Selzer DDS


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” The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” 

 James Openheim



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Trigger zone for happiness

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Start where you are
Generosity builds happiness

Happiness a balance of opposites

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Finding the edge of happiness February 17, 2011
 Dear Michael,   



It gets covered up with the stuff that happens during the day that are road blocks, detours that we get caught up in. The cul de sacs of the day cover over the natural happiness that is there.

However, we can find the edge and uncover the happiness that lies beneath it. One of the ways of discovering that edge is to bring to mind the image and detail of something that slows the mind down, till it almost stops. It’s as if the mind backs up for a moment to a pre-rehearsed, detailed thought/image of something and then allows that thought/image to shift over and merge with the immediate concern that is covering up the happiness.

I invite you to continue reading below to uncover another pathway to happiness.



Michael Selzer DDS


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When you have a pre-rehearsed thought/image what stays in your mind is the detail, the image of a story, the edges of the image come into view.  The edges are important.  It’s by the edges of something that you can see  it’s beginning or ending.  That story pops back into your mind at a time when you are aware of looking for happiness but you do not see it.

Image that you become aware that the traffic jam you are in orMilk money whatever the situation is for you is there and you are stuck in it. The milk spilled on the floor and it needs to be cleaned up. You start to look for happiness rather than irritation but it is not there. You just know the traffic jam is going to end and the milk is going to be cleaned up but you don’t really feel happy about it.

And then the thought/image pops in your mind and all of a sudden you realize that, “Oh, there is an edge that I can find.” So you focus attention on finding the edge, of what it is that is irritating about the traffic or the milk. And when you get that edge lifted up even though the situation still exists and you have to sit in the traffic or clean up the milk you can be a little bit less annoyed by it and can even begin to enjoy it.

It’s like finding the edge of the plastic bag that seems to be closed at both ends in the grocery store. Or the edge of a roll of clear tape that has become stuck down at its end. When you find the edge the problem dissolves all by its self.

Small Moments Of Happiness
Try this image below for slowing your mind down till it almost stops. 

Picture a tree with its root deep in the ground. Going upward the root becomes the trunk of the tree and merges into the branches, twigs, stems and leaves. Going downward the end of the root near its tip merges into a root hair that absorbs water and minerals form the earth.


The water and dirt mixture outside the root hair is just about the same as what is just on the inside of the root hair.


Slow down to the detail of this image, see the edge of the root hair. Feel how silent and still it is all around the root hair. Where does the root become the trunk? The stem become the leaf? It all is one tree. Where does the root hair become the water dirt mixture? It all is one earth.  

Open to the edge of one concern one thought, as it flows into its neighboring thought. Let it dissolve like finding the opening in the plastic bag.


Hold onto this image.  Wait for it to arise the next time you are looking for a path back to happiness.

Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment  
A puppy just does not get annoyed to begin with. If the puppy sees something it doesn’t like it just barks at it. And then as soon as the non-liking stops it just stops barking and starts wagging its tail.Like finding a hidden toy under the edge of a blanket happiness lies under and between the edge of one thought and another.

Austen hiddenAusten edgeAusten pig

The puppy has a default disposition of happiness; not lingering. And do you know how a puppy would clean up the spilled milk? It just licks it clean and shiny. Now that’s got to bring a smile to your face.

Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
I am working on this concept for swinging and would really appreciate your feedback.   

Go to a lake and and find some flat rocks.  Toss them in the water so that they skip a few times across the lake’s surface.  Practice so that you can get the stones to skip 1, 2 or 3 times.  This motion becomes both the body movement and the tempo for a golf swing.  If you cannot go to the lake just try the motion.


Feel the motion of your body as you toss the stones and you will find that as your hips turn forward with the motion your upper body moves backward so your body stays in balance.  If your right handed this will lower your right shoulder as your hips move out of the way and your arms extend outward.


Repeat this with a golf club and watch the ball fly.  The smoother you swing the better.  The tempo of the swing can be related to having a stone skip 1, 2 or 3 times.


Upcoming topics in future newsletters

Relative time
Gratitude and order
House guests in our mind


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