Secrets For a Happier Life December 9, 2010

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices
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“It is a great mitzvah to be happy always.”


– Rebbe Nachman of Breslov



Happiness comes in drops
Thought matches body sensations

Trigger zone for happiness

You can have happiness now

Happiness & Sunshine 24×7
Start where you are
Generosity builds happiness

Happiness a balance of opposites

Happiness a wave of energy
Happiness a wave of energy
A book I have enjoyed
Ken Wilber
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Happiness can be built
November 18, 2010
Dear Michael,

The “sum may be greater than its parts,” is an old but very true proverb. Steel is a combination of iron and carbon and is much harder than each of its parts. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich tastes much better than just peanut butter or jelly alone.

I invite you to continue reading below in order to:

Relieve any moments of stress

and return to happiness.

Michael Selzer DDS

Quick Changes
This newsletter will describe a sequence of steps combining your strength of will with whatever is happening for you in the moment.  This will then be mixed with an intention you are holding in mind.


With practice these steps can be done in a few seconds while you are talking are listening to someone, while driving, while listening on the telephone or standing on line at the store.



Strength – is the quality of mind to resist and overcome any temptation to do anything that would pull you away from happiness.


Now – is the flowing point of balance between the past and the future.  A sense of how long  “now” is  may be about the length of one breath.

Museum intention

Intention – May be held in mind for a day, a week or more.  Some examples of intention are enthusiasm, happiness, patience, compassion, modesty, honor, strength, courage, silence, simplicity, awe, excitement, spontaneity, etc.

Small Moments Of Happiness
I have listed the steps and then if you prefer,  a more detailed description is listed at the bottom of the newsletter.

Steps For Happiness


  1. Name the feeling thought that you want relieve from
  2. Join with that named thought
  3. Dance with it
  4. Ask what is this
  5. Ask what do I want
  6. Feel both sides of the issue
  7. Let go of each side to feel the other
  8. Shift up and back
  9. Feel the balance in the middle and pop through the hole
  10. Breath deeply and relax
  11. Recall your intention
  12. Fuse intention with the residual of the balanced feelings
  13. Expand body into space
  14. Expand breath beyond the expanded body
  15. Play the field

Happiness: A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment
Are you like a puppy?  Are you filled with happiness all the time?  If you answered, “yes”,  then you can stop reading.  Are you happy as much time as you would like?  Then you too, can stop reading.
Austen at table Austen Eating SandAusten in poolAusten sitting 2Austen hanging looseAusten golf ball
For those who are still with me the quick method is just be like a puppy and be happy right now and if you become unhappy just drop it right right away.
The details of the step by step method are listed below.  They are like the ingredients for a recipe.  The more you think about and explore each individual ingredient the better the whole process works.

Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment
Golf swingolf

Knowing Les Bolland, the creator of Swingolf, I think he would agree that thinking like a puppy makes for a more enjoyable golf experience in addition to a lower score.

According to Les –

“In Swingolf you are guided toward the discovery of your own exhilarating, natural swing. Your path to success emphasizes the achievement of mental and physical harmony, not details of body placement. You enjoy a longer ball, more success, and a lower handicap.  Make golf fun, express your talent, now, in the first minute.”

Happiness Practice

  1. Name the feeling thoughtPlace attention on the concern, annoyance, excitement, feeling, etc.  Give it a name.  Think about that name.  Is it just right?  Does it fully describe what it is that you are feeling?  Work on the name. Make sure the name is just right to describe the feeling of the thought.
  2. Join with it Accept just for now that named feeling.  Allow it to be fully present. Use your strength.  Hold on tight.
  3. Dance with it – Shuffle your feet, move a little, dance with whatever it is.  If it is sadness dance with the sadness.  If it is anger dance with the anger.  Do not resist the named feeling.  The feeling might be too much of something such as  excitement about a project you are working on.  Dance with that too. 
  4. Ask what is this? – Ask what, not why.  Ask yourself what is this?  What am I feeling?  What am I thinking? ie. tight face muscles, holding breath, rapid heartbeat, or hot, cold, excitement, jitteriness, etc.
  5. Ask what do I want?What is it that I really want right now?  Just name that and feel the joy that goes with imagining getting what you really want.  Light, airy, smiling, bouncy joy , calm, peaceful, energy, quiet etc.
  6. Feel both sides of the issueFeel the tight annoyed feeling sensation then let go and feel the joy of receiving what I want.  Or let go of the excited energetic feeling and feel the peacefulness of being still.
  7. Let go of each side to feel the other This is a key to the sequence ie. fully letting go of one side in order to allow the other side to be fully felt.  It’s hard to let go of the thought/feeling.  This is an area where strength comes into play.  Just for now let go of the thought/feeling.  You can have it back in a just a few seconds.  Once you have let go of the thought/feeling of one side bring into your awareness the thought feeling of the other side.  If your first thought is being frustrated with something experience that fully and dance with it.  Then let it go and feel what you would want your experience to be .  This might be wanting to enjoy this moment free of any frustration.  So feel that calmness right now.  Then let go of the calmness and go back to the feeling of the frustration or whatever it was for you.
  8. Shift up and back – Release from one side (pole) to the other a few times fully feeling both sides.  Realize that each side (even the one you prefer) can at its extreme be too much at times and a desire to release towards its opposite pole comes to mind.  Like holding your breath in or out. 
  9. Feel the balance in the middle and pop through the hole – Another key part.  If you have fully experienced both sides you are ready to sense the balance in the middle (like riding a bicycle with no hands) and flow into the feeling/sensation of balance.  Close your eyes for a moment and sense that balance right now.  When it is just right you can pop through the balance point and look back at yourself.
  10. Breathe deeply and relaxAs you breath in slowly, follow the breath as it travels into your lungs and then sense the energy of the breath as the whole body expands.  Relax on the out breath. (hint  –  near the end of the in breath push your abdomen outward  and then relax your abdomen as you breathe out).



  1. Recall your intention – Bring your intention to mind and allow it to expand with the breath and then relax fully into the intention.



  1. Fuse your intention with the residual of the balanced feelingsIf there are any left over feelings that you started with combine your intention with those feelings.
  2. Expand body into space – As you breath in imagine your body expanding and growing larger and your awareness with it.
  3. Expand breath beyond the expanded bodyAllow a sense of your breath to grow beyond the awareness of your expanded body.
  4. Play the fieldAllow each cell of your being to expand and rejoin the field of  pure awareness. 


Upcoming topics in future newsletters

Gratitude and happiness

House guests in our mind

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