Secrets For A Happier Life November 18, 2010

Secrets For A Happier Life: Ideas, Inspiration & Practices

Buzz Thought Happiness  a wave of energy By being a recipient of this email  you have been entered in a drawing to win a free gelato cake for up to ten people  Compliments of  Dr. Michael Selzer   & the  Gelato Shoppe   One new winner each issue! Thanks for reading CLICK HERE FOR AN ADDITIONAL ENTRY AND CHANCE TO WIN THE DRAWING FOR THIS ISSUE. FL residents only Quick Links   Joy Coaching     Boca Smile Center   Happiness on YouTube           I would love to hear from you     (561)487-4555        Share your happiness tips and see them in a future newsletter                                             Email Link          Spread The Word Want to live around happier family and friends?    Smile of the Week    Dr. Pierre Chanover “The sky is always blue you are the only one who creates the darkness”   “Le ciel est toujours bleu c’est vous qui creez le sombre”   The smile of happiness is the same in all languages. “Some pursue happiness – others create it.”   Anonymous  Archive  4-22-2010 Happiness comes in drops 5-13-2010 Thought matches body sensations 6-3-2010 Trigger zone for happiness 6-24-2010  You can have happiness now 7-15-2010 Happiness & Sunshine 24×7 8-05-2010 Start where you are 8-26-2010 Generosity builds happiness 9-16-2010 Happiness a balance of opposites   10-07-2010 Happiness a wave of energy   A book I have enjoyed   Kripalu Yoga A Guide To Practice On And Off the Mat by Richard Faulds Quick Links Thought + energy = emotion October 28, 2010 Dear Michael, Timing is the difference between how we view many things.  A joke can be good or bad depending on the timing.  A baked cake can be just right depending on the timing.  Catching a wave at the beach depends on timing.    How we perceive what is happening around us in our interactions with others can very often be interpreted as positve or negative depending on how we interpret the timing of their words.   I invite you to read more below. Michael Selzer DDS Quick Changes When you are at the beach and catching the waves you must first match its speed and direction in order to join with its flow.  Once balanced and joined with the flow you can make adjustments to accentuate or concentrate some of the flow’s energy into another form.  For example a surf boarder  begins with the rider starting to use arm movements to gain speed and match that speed to the wave of energy being transmitted through the water and forming the wave.  Once the speed is matched, with just the right timing the surf board and its rider join the flow of the wave and can begin to ride along its energy.  The rider can now stand and concentrate some of the energy and begin to direct the surf board up and back and “ride” the wave. There seems to be a point where by first matching the speed of the wave and then surrendering to its flow you become connected to the wave.  Similarly there is the space between the telling of a joke and its punch line.  You are joined to the wave or joke and are riding its energy.  With the wave you now can concentrate the energy and stand up and balance with the wind in your face.  With the joke you can release the waiting into a burst of energetic laughter. Small Moments Of Happiness Whatever is occurring has a varying amount of emotional energy.  You can think of emotions as having two components.  An energy component and a thought component that gives a particular color or feel to the energy of that emotion.  But you can separate the thought from the emotion and be left with the energy that can then be directed as you choose. When you do this you can then ride the wave of that energy.    The timing is a critical event.There is a small window of time where the energy wave of most happenings is just energy.  It is before we decide that we want to grasp at more of that emotion or feel aversion and want less of it.  But the energy is just energy.  It comes up from within the emotion as the interaction between our past experiences and desires and the happening itself.  Feel for the energy and absorb the first moment of reaction.  Surrender to its force and effects and like the surf boarder join its flow.  Dance with it and begin to balance within the energy itself.  The energy is just energy.  A thought is just a thought.  Think of the surf boarder moving his arms. What is your emotional state right now? Sit up tall and erect, balance with the emotional energy you are aware of; as if you are  riding on a bicycle, match the speed of the energy and ride its wave.   Think about all of the energy that comes up that you respond to in a habitual manner.  That is the energy of the waves of emotion that you can  join, balance and stand up with.  The ride at that time can be directed as you wish. With practice you can get a sense of watching this from a place of stillness, like looking out the window of a moving train as if the energy is the landscape going by. Preparing For Happiness Practice Choose an intention to hold in the back of you mind that is important to you.  It can change over time.  One tradition holds an intention in place for one week at a time.  Examples of intention can be compassion, gratitude, generosity, peacefulness, happiness, moderation, accomplishment, adventure, spontaneity, enthusiasm, curiosity, etc.  Happiness Practice The balance of the emotion has two components the first is resting in being present, being aware of what is occurring. The second in the section below integrates this with your intention. 1. Breathe – for a few breaths just focus on the sensations of the breath flowing in and out.  As the breath flows out exhale completely by contracting the abdominal muscles toward the end of the exhalation.   2. Relax – find some muscle tension to relax, one place to soften and let go of something.  As your body is relaxed soften the muscle of the mind and let go of any tension surrounding your mental activity. 3. Feel – notice what you are feeling in all areas of your body, in every tissue and cell;   from the inside sensations to sounds, to the touch of the air on your skin. 4. Watch – Start to become aware of your thoughts just as they are.  Do not try to hold more of what you like or push away what you do not want.  Be a silent observer of what your mind is thinking.  Watch for any changes in the quality of your experience. 5. Allow – Just for this moment allow whatever is there for you to be there just as it is.  Instead of trying to understand your experience, be fully present and watch whatever is happening.  For this moment just let it all be okay just as it is. Abbreviated anachronism    BRFWA  From Kripalu Yoga by Richard Faulds  Happiness:  A puppy’s perspective for living in the moment   The second component is to recall your intention and integrate that with the emotion that you were first experiencing.  This can be done immediatly after the first awareness component or later as a contemplative review as preparation for the next time that emotion comes around. Ask these three questions: 1. In what way would more of the emotion support your intention? 2. In what way would less of the emotion support your intention?   Select the amount of this emotion that feels the best to you where it is balanced between more or less of it. 3. At this place of balance can you decide if you want to let go of the thought portion of the emotion and shift its energy component to enhance and accomplish your intention or just remain with the emotion you started with?   Austen the puppy in the photo has a wonderful intention of balancing eating, playing and resting.  It seems that everything he does is related to one of these three pleasures.      Golf Secrets:  A golfer’s perspective for living in the moment Balance – On the practice range take a stance with your weight balanced evenly on each foot.  Feel the contact on four parts of each foot. The toe, heel and then both sides of the sole of your foot as it supports your weight.  Start to sway just a bit side to side but keep your toes very still and from your ankles down your feet very still.  Practice swaying and twisting and then swinging your club without moving your toes or ankles.  With a little practice it starts to feel like your shoes are set in concrete.  And you can move more and more in balance.  Try a few slow even swings and follow through with a ball.  After you have practiced this it’s fine to allow your back foot to turn as your follow through moves your body but stay in balance. Upcoming topics in future newsletters Gratitude and happiness House guests in our mind